Monday, April 7, 2014

10? Things I want my kids to know (Part 5)



 
10.       Evaluate the cost at the start; With all of your decisions in life if you want “A” you’ll have to pay “B” or if you get “A” you’ll have to give up “B” sad but true. Some will tell you this is not so, saying  “You can have it all” Or “It won’t cost you anything”, or “No one will know”  but every time they are trying to get you to leave behind or give up what is most valuable for something much less. To do this we must see the end from the beginning or in other words we must look ahead and see where this path will take us. We also need to look at where we will end up and what the cost is and seek good advice from the scriptures or prophets. Sometimes it is very obvious while other times it isn't so clear.

The Word of Wisdom for example. When it was first reveled it didn't seem to make much since. Some of the things we were asked to do without were even thought to be healthy back then.  Now year’s later science and good practice has proven that if we keep it we will live healthier and longer.

In the 70’s woman leaving their small children to claim their place in the work force was heralded as courageous and the best for all. WE were told it was “quality” not the “quantity” of the time we spent with our family that counted. Time has proven this not the case, it takes both. I still remember the sinking feeling I had deep in the pit of my stomach as we watched the serviceman install our new satellite dish that would give us over 400 channels and unlimited entertainment. I knew without a doubt deep in my gut as it was going in that it was not a good thing for my family. I wanted out of the contract I had just signed, but rationalized it away knowing I would love all the viewing choices. Now, I think of all the time lost sitting and veggin’, and wonder what we would have done if not entranced by the seductive lure all that entertainment. O the places we could have gone and the things we could have seen.

All I'm saying is look forward to where you'll end up and pray often about your choices. It’s the seemingly small things that I have found that have the biggest effect as time wears on.


11.       Life is not fair! Get over it This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my writing. I think it is because in my youth, I had hoped that life would be fair, of course that means with a strong bias to my needs and wants. I found out the hard way after feeling picked on and sorry for myself for a long time and beating my head against the wall that life isn’t fair and was never even meant to be. It has taken me a long time to learn this and a lot of hours wasted crying over spilt milk to come to this point of enlightenment. So I guess I would like to spare you the cost of finding it out for yourself because once you have come to this knowledge and accept it as the norm, life suddenly gets much easier to handle. J You can go about life not worrying about when or where it will start to be fair, and just get on with it.

Ø  Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” Gordon B Hinkley,

It may seem like you will always be expected to do more than your share; you should look for ways to help more than your share in every circumstance. Selfless service is a cornerstone to living a happier life.

 
12.       Forgive; To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed.  This may be the hardest of all. It is healing to forgive and it is how we find peace. It is the single greatest  gift you can give yourself. That's right forgiving others is a gift to yourself! It is important to remember that we are commanded to forgive and if we do not then we cannot seek forgiveness ourselves. It does not require the other party to accept our forgiveness or even acknowledge it. When we forgive we are not saying that what they did is “ok” or “alright”, we are not excusing their behavior. You need to know also that forgiveness of others is not necessarily a feeling it is in fact, a decision and a choice. If and when we stick to that decision, then eventually the feeling will come. Ask for help from Father when you need to and he will help, over and over and over again if you are having trouble sticking to your decision to forgive. It is a tricky thing- I have found. And for me at least it can take some time. I will be driving along and a thought will sneak across my mind and the old pain will try to work its way back in. At those times when it dawns on me that I have relapsed into a negative way of thinking I again pray, I again turn it over to the lord. I again recommit to my decision to forgive. The fact that I would even have these little relapses use to trouble me, but not any more I think it’s just the devil testing my resolve. He wants that old pain to fester and grow within us. But with a lot of help from Father I’m now okay with this kind of test.

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:“ Forgiveness … allows the love of God to purge your heart and mind of the poison of hate. It cleanses your consciousness of the desire for revenge. It makes place for the purifying, healing, restoring love of the Lord”. (in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 45; or Ensign, May 1992, 33).

Gordon B. Hinckley when he was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “There is no peace in harboring old grudges. There is no peace in reflecting on the pain of old wounds. There is peace only in repentance and forgiveness. This is the sweet peace of the Christ, who said, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God’. (Matthew 5:9)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, 88; or Ensign, Nov. 1980, 63).

 9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to aforgive one another; for he that bforgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will aforgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to bforgive all men. (D&C 64:9-10.)

A great talk on forgiving is     Choosing to Forgive

No comments:

Post a Comment