Happy 75th Birthday Dad!!!

I would like to share 3 important things that my dad taught me.

1.     Hard Work

My Dad just loves to work. If you know him, you know what I’m talking about. Well, honestly I don’t know that he loves it all the time, but he does it regardless of love, or praise. He does it just kuz it needs to be done.

When I was young he worked at a full time job, that he had to drive 2 ½ hours to then he’d come home and run our 600 acre farm. There was always work for us to do. The work never ended and we were always behind. Whenever we would finish one thing there were always ten more jobs waiting to be done. 

I remember on several Saturday mornings he would wake Bryan and me around 4:30 a.m. and our day of work would begin. When he woke us up that early sometimes we would complain about how early it was. He would inform us that he let us sleep in, and that he had started working at 3:30 a.m.. We would come back in the house about 8 and make a big breakfast for the family. I’d eat till I thought I’d burst then turn around and get back to work.  

In my youth, every Saturday for as long as I can remember, I worked with my dad. There was never a need to hire someone out to do the work - no matter what it was- Dad could always find a way or figure out how we could do it ourselves. (He is the original MacGyver.) I remember one Saturday replacing the cracked head on the old Case tractor as we listened to conference on AM radio. The talks would fade in and out of static as we worked. That task to me seemed impossible but we did it, and it worked. 

Most men would hire out a backhoe when the cesspool needed to be cleaned out. It was very nasty, full and deep. Why do that when you have rubber boots, 2 boys and 5 gal buckets? Yep that’s right we bucketed out that cesspool - 5 gallons at a time. I will never forget the feeling of the ooze running down my arm, under my armpit and into my shirt as I stood with a bucket full of unspeakable sludge lifted high over my head waiting for Bryan to reach down and take it to be dumped. 

All these memories bring me to lesson #2

2.     I Can Do It

Whenever I tried doing something that I didn't know how to do, my Dad would tell me “Think about it, step back and analyze it in your mind.  Take it one step at a time and be curious”. He lives by this statement and now so do I. To this day if I don’t know how to do something I learn how. I read about it, I find people that can teach me, I watch YouTube videos. And then I try. This lesson never made me an expert - really- at anything but it did show me that I could do what needs to be done. Above that, however, he knows his kids can do hard things. He doesn't “believe” we can do it. He simply knows we can, and that knowledge of his pushes us on as we have faith in his determination that we can do it.  

3.     Who God Is

The most important thing my Dad ever taught me was who God is, and how a man of God honors him. I believe that on that “Great and Terrible Day of Judgment” when we stand before God He will be more concerned with how far we traveled on our path toward Him rather than how far up the social, economic, or even the religious ladder we have climbed. It won’t be so much the dollars we gave or the positions we held that will be of any true worth. I believe that the length of our travel will be representative of how hard we have sought the Lord out in this life. If this is so, then, my Dad is a master traveler on this path I have referred to. 

He taught me this principle as I watched how he grew in his testimony and his constant desire for betterment of self. How he always made sure our family was taken care of. How he taught me about prayer, how he prayed for me, and how he prayed with me. He made me work with my hands and showed me that I could do anything that I put my mind to. He lived the word of God as best he could on a daily basis. He taught me how to meekly seek forgiveness when I mess up or when I go astray. He showed me who God is by his actions. He loves Heavenly Father.  He loves His teachings, his scriptures and he loves His prophets.  He showed me daily by his example, he loves God right in front of my eyes.

Happy 75^th Birthday Dad, I love you.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.

(Book of Mormon | 1 Nephi 1:1)

 10-23-14

10? Things I want my kids to know (Part 5)

 

10.       Evaluate the cost at the start; With all of your decisions in life if you want “A” you’ll have to pay “B” or if you get “A” you’ll have to give up “B” sad but true. Some will tell you this is not so, saying  “You can have it all” Or “It won’t cost you anything”, or “No one will know”  but every time they are trying to get you to leave behind or give up what is most valuable for something much less. To do this we must see the end from the beginning or in other words we must look ahead and see where this path will take us. We also need to look at where we will end up and what the cost is and seek good advice from the scriptures or prophets. Sometimes it is very obvious while other times it isn't so clear.

The Word of Wisdom for example. When it was first reveled it didn't seem to make much since. Some of the things we were asked to do without were even thought to be healthy back then.  Now year’s later science and good practice has proven that if we keep it we will live healthier and longer.

In the 70’s woman leaving their small children to claim their place in the work force was heralded as courageous and the best for all. WE were told it was “quality” not the “quantity” of the time we spent with our family that counted. Time has proven this not the case, it takes both. I still remember the sinking feeling I had deep in the pit of my stomach as we watched the serviceman install our new satellite dish that would give us over 400 channels and unlimited entertainment. I knew without a doubt deep in my gut as it was going in that it was not a good thing for my family. I wanted out of the contract I had just signed, but rationalized it away knowing I would love all the viewing choices. Now, I think of all the time lost sitting and veggin’, and wonder what we would have done if not entranced by the seductive lure all that entertainment. O the places we could have gone and the things we could have seen.

All I'm saying is look forward to where you'll end up and pray often about your choices. It’s the seemingly small things that I have found that have the biggest effect as time wears on.

11.       Life is not fair! Get over it This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my writing. I think it is because in my youth, I had hoped that life would be fair, of course that means with a strong bias to my needs and wants. I found out the hard way after feeling picked on and sorry for myself for a long time and beating my head against the wall that life isn’t fair and was never even meant to be. It has taken me a long time to learn this and a lot of hours wasted crying over spilt milk to come to this point of enlightenment. So I guess I would like to spare you the cost of finding it out for yourself because once you have come to this knowledge and accept it as the norm, life suddenly gets much easier to handle. J You can go about life not worrying about when or where it will start to be fair, and just get on with it.

Ø  “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” Gordon B Hinkley,

It may seem like you will always be expected to do more than your share; you should look for ways to help more than your share in every circumstance. Selfless service is a cornerstone to living a happier life.

 

12.       Forgive; To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed.  This may be the hardest of all. It is healing to forgive and it is how we find peace. It is the single greatest  gift you can give yourself. That's right forgiving others is a gift to yourself! It is important to remember that we are commanded to forgive and if we do not then we cannot seek forgiveness ourselves. It does not require the other party to accept our forgiveness or even acknowledge it. When we forgive we are not saying that what they did is “ok” or “alright”, we are not excusing their behavior. You need to know also that forgiveness of others is not necessarily a feeling it is in fact, a decision and a choice. If and when we stick to that decision, then eventually the feeling will come. Ask for help from Father when you need to and he will help, over and over and over again if you are having trouble sticking to your decision to forgive. It is a tricky thing- I have found. And for me at least it can take some time. I will be driving along and a thought will sneak across my mind and the old pain will try to work its way back in. At those times when it dawns on me that I have relapsed into a negative way of thinking I again pray, I again turn it over to the lord. I again recommit to my decision to forgive. The fact that I would even have these little relapses use to trouble me, but not any more I think it’s just the devil testing my resolve. He wants that old pain to fester and grow within us. But with a lot of help from Father I’m now okay with this kind of test.

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:“ Forgiveness … allows the love of God to purge your heart and mind of the poison of hate. It cleanses your consciousness of the desire for revenge. It makes place for the purifying, healing, restoring love of the Lord”. (in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 45; or Ensign, May 1992, 33).

Gordon B. Hinckley when he was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “There is no peace in harboring old grudges. There is no peace in reflecting on the pain of old wounds. There is peace only in repentance and forgiveness. This is the sweet peace of the Christ, who said, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God’. (Matthew 5:9)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, 88; or Ensign, Nov. 1980, 63).

 9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to ^aforgive one another; for he that ^bforgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

10 I, the Lord, will ^aforgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to ^bforgive all men. (D&C 64:9-10.)

A great talk on forgiving is     Choosing to Forgive

10? Things I want my kids to know (Part 2)

4.       It’s ok to cry; I have told you time and time again to suck it up and move forward, often accompanied by a “cuff-up-side the head”. Endlessly I chastised you for crying when you were younger, as I told you to just rub some dirt on it and get moving. I fear that in an effort to help you be aware that you are tougher than you know. I may have put a negative spin on all crying. I would like to rectify that now! It is ok to cry. We must not waste time feeling sorry for ourselves; however it is appropriate to morn when we have experienced loss. Not only is it appropriate but it is essential to being able to deal with and understand what has happened and eventually put it into perspective and move forward. It can be a great stress reliever. It is ok and even necessary to see hurt and pain for what it is and deal with it, not bottle it up or we will pay a much higher price when that bottled up emotion finally overflows and overwhelms us.

My least favorite time to cry is when I have transgressed. I know, and we have been promised that with transgression there will always be tears.

There are other times we might cry, when we are extremely happy, like good memories of my family or when we are moved and overwhelmed by the spirit. These times are my favorite times to cry. I love tears of happiness and joy or the way in which the spirit overwhelms me and brings me to tears. (*Side note; don’t mistake crying for always feeling the spirit as I sometimes have. Sometimes it’s just us crying?)

How do I know it’s ok to cry?

The toughest men and women I have come to know have cried. I remember as a boy when dad cut off the tips of his toes with the lawn mower. He limped into the house with a shredded bloody shoe and through pursed lips told Bryan and me to leave. We ran out the old wooden screen door then turned around and pressed our noses back to the screen to watch and see what would happen. He called for mom and as she began to look him over. He griped the chair in obvious agony and grunted through clinched teeth “I thought you were supposed to faint if the pain got this bad”.  Not one tear was shed then or when he broke his wrist and it was left just dangling crooked when the tractor backfired while he was crank starting it, or when the horse kicked him in the head giving him a concussion. The first time in my life I can remember my dad crying was at his mother’s furfural. If he had ever shed a tear before that I can’t say that I remember. But there in the sorrow of saying goodbye, his heart broken at this new loss, the toughest and bravest man I knew wept. What a tribute to his wonderful mother. Earl Crockett senior, at the loss of his young son Kelly. Gordon B Hinckley as he spoke of his beloved wife.

See also; John 11:35. 3 Nephi 17;21,22

 

5.       Stay close to the lord and pray always. All my happiness and joy I can trace back to my efforts to be obedience to the  gospel and the knowledge it has given me. Sadness always follows when I have strayed. Stay close and life will be better. I remember one night out coon hunting with Kyli. She was only about 10 at the time and loved to hunt the dogs. We had just recently got a new cell phone with a 2 year contract. She had asked if she could hold the phone and I let her. At the end of the night hunting we had followed those dogs all over that valley in the dark and had a very successful night. When we got the dogs loaded up in the truck and headed back for home around midnight. I asked her for the phone. I saw the panicked look come over her face as she felt her empty pockets.

 “I must have dropped it somewhere along the way.” she said in a panic. We had walked miles in tall sage brush, grass and weeds following our hounds. There was no way to find it in the dark with such a large area to cover and even if we went back we could not retrace our tracks kuz the dogs and coons didn’t know how to follow a trail or even go in a straight line. After thinking about it for a second, realizing we couldn’t possibly retrace our steps, afford a new phone or even get out of the contract I said “will you say a prayer and ask Heavenly Father to help us find the phone?” (You see, I happen to know and bare my personal testimony that Father Loves to listen to children.)So on cue she said a very simple prayer, her little head bowed, and little arms folded. As she offered that small childlike simple prayer the earth seemed to quiet a little, the restless dogs, still wound up from the hunt settled down and the cool midnight breeze was exactly right. The air seemed crisp; not cool just crisp all as if to indicate that Father was paying attention to this prayer.  It was the silver blue moon that offered our only light and it was enough to get you around. We pulled back into the spot we had unloaded hours earlier. I turned to her and asked if she thought we would find it. She shrugged her shoulders not knowing how we possibly could.

 I had felt like this would be one of those times that Father would reach out his hand and perform a wonder for this little girl’s prayer. I silently asked that He might grant her this prayer as a way of showing her His love. We got out of the truck with the plan that we would just try to follow the path as best we could of the earlier hunt. I looked out at the dark landscape and the seemingly impossible task but, I felt peace. As I stepped toward to the first fence crossing that we had crawled through, I saw a blinking green light in the tall grass. It was the phone!!! We snatched it up with lightened hearts and started home after having a prayer of thanks. I guess the point of this story is to reaffirm to you that He hears and answers you prayers. If it’s important to you it’s important to Him. I have similar stories for all of my children.

  2 Nephi 4:35 Yea, I know that God will give ^aliberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ^bask ^cnot amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the ^drock of my ^erighteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

 

6.       Always be thankful. There is always, always, always, something to be grateful for. Some people go through life looking for the silver lining on every cloud and others will look for the cloud on every silver lining. In life you will always find what you’re looking for. I cannot say that enough, you will always find what you’re looking for!! So look for the good. Search out those things that are praiseworthy, uplifting and desirable.

Happiness is what you find when you’re engaged in being thankful; it’s not a thing you get, or something you buy, or a place you go, or a time you wait for. If you can’t be grateful and happy for what is in your life right now, with where you are and what you have, chances are you won’t be happy when you get what you though you wanted or where you thought happiness is waiting.

In our life we will face grief, pain, suffering and disappointment that are real and are meant to be part of our earthly experience. These times are hard and will be uncomfortable and sometimes seem overwhelming. We can still make them better or worse depending on how we stand and face them. I’m not advocating pretending that all is well, as the house around you burns down, but “Attitude is everything” this is an eternal principle.

When life gets going too fast, stop and remember all that you have to be thankful for.
(Count your blessings) If you haven’t made this a habit then at first it will be hard. Ask for help from Father to see and recognize your blessings. They are there I promise.

When we are thankful, little things and stumbling blocks seem to get out of our way. There is less in our life that weighs us down, less to fear and less to cause worry. We are freer to see and enjoy all the things around us. Gratitude will help improve every aspect of your life; physical, financial, relational, mental, emotional and spiritual. Unfortunately the opposite is also true. A bad attitude is the destroyer of every good thing.

One thing that is yours and can never be taken away is your attitude. You must see, understand and own this. If you have a bad attitude then you and you alone chose that. You are always in control of that. It is the great lie that something, or what someone else did is in control of your attitude. Don’t get caught in the trap of this great lie.

If you have a min watch this:

 

10? Things I want my kids to know

Not really an accurate title but it's catchy.

Prologue: I have been working on this list for a long time now and have found it too overwhelming to put it all together. So I will start in bite size chunks. We will call it a living document, as I find myself adding to it every time I sit down to finish it. The list already has grown to over tweny things and as I try to finish each one more ideas keep coming. I will just keep posting more from time to time. So here we go... J

 

1.       I love you!!! How can I express more fully what those three little words mean to me? When I think of you, my heart swells. I feel a kind of power or electricity deep inside of me that warms my soul and gives purpose to my life. When you cry, I cry; both in happy tears and sad ones too. You are in my thoughts, and those thoughts carry me through the day. I pray for you every day. Every good and praiseworthy thing (if any) I have done since becoming a father, I have done for or because of you. I know you can’t understand how fully it encompasses me now, but wait, you will. I feel the pressure of being a father every day. When you were younger and so dependent on me it was greater, almost overwhelming sometimes causing a panic. But it has lessened as you have gotten older and are branching out on your own. Every misstep you have made I would blame myself, knowing I should have taught you more and better. I felt when you were younger a panic to make sure you were perfect, hence my strictness. I knew that when God had sent you to me that you were in fact perfect, and if you were returned to him any less than that, it would be my fault for not parenting you correctly. (A pretty crazy thought, right?) In spite of me, you have grown into such wonderful men and women, that I swell with pride at the very thought of you. I am well pleased with you and I love you!!!

2.       Your Father in heaven loves you and you are known to him. Each one of you has a personal relationship with your Father in heaven. You may have forgotten how strong it is, but He hasn’t. I know this because He, Himself has impressed it on my mind. At times in each of your life's it has been witnessed to my soul as I have watched you grow or given you Fathers blessings. He is willing to help you. He hears and answers your prayers. If you haven’t heard his answers, then listen and be still. He is talking to you. He longs to be included in your life on every level. Please talk to Him and include Him in everything you do.

3.       You are tough, and you can do hard things. Case Family rule #1 “Life is hard but I’m tough” there may be times in life when you get down and feel you can’t go on. Heck maybe you don’t want to go on. It’s those times we should reflect and recite our mantra “Life is hard but I’m tough” say it to yourself over and over till it takes root and grows in your soul. Not as some prideful thing but as a comforting knowledge that you can and will, with God’s help make it. This does kind of go with #11; life is not fair and #18; there is no cure for self-pity. Being tough or brave or happy is a choice. I would encourage you to choose these rather than their alternatives; but make no mistake it is always your choice.  Tough is an action word, you can’t be tough while you’re doing nothing. When we chose to be tough we must look for ways in which we can be proactive in times of discouragement. You are capable of being men and woman of action in tough times. You are awesome!
        Awesome: inspiring an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, or fear; causing or inducing awe

 

To be continued…

How is it we can remember to forget?

“...Sometimes we can actually change the past. Because the only part of the past that  is still alive in the present. Is the story we tell our selves. About what the past means. When we change that meaning. We can change the past.” –Wendy Ulrich, Ph.D., M.B.A.,

 

This is a subject that has been on my mind for some time now.

I recently heard that we rewrite our personal history over and over based on whether we want to remember our history in a positive light or a negative one. How is this right? Can we at will rewrite history based on whether we’re feeling good or bad? Like someone or hate them? Yes we can, and we do it all the time. How is this fair to the others in our memories? Well it’s not fair, and it’s just that simple.

So many things play into how we choose to remember. Like how we’re feeling that day, good mood or a bad one, future grievances or perceived wrongs, a difference in perspective for example; two people can watch the same movie and have a totally different outcome. One may love it for the romance and the person right next to them may hate it for the violence. They will inevitably have a deferent personal perspective or history on the memory of that movie. Even worse let’s say they both love it as they leave the theater that night. Both laughing and reciting the funny lines that made them laugh. Then a week or so later one will remember that they didn’t really like the leading lady or the way she acted in one of the scenes. And now that they think about it they really didn’t even like the film or the theater.  Now that person may subconsciously or consciously rewrite how they felt about that whole evening. In so doing they will influence the history of that same time for those involved perhaps inviting them to reconsider their take on how they really felt, thus rewriting history. We all do it every day.

So it is with life, and this really bugs me. I would like it if everyone remembered my life and the things I or we have done the same as I do, but they don’t, nor should they. Whether it’s a difference of perspective or perhaps they have just chosen to rewrite history for a more convenient truth I don’t know. Maybe it’s all me and the desire as an eternal optimist to remember everything as the good ol days, seen through my rose color glasses. (Did you get that? I just admitted, I think??, That I like to rewrite my history in a positive light)

Now I’ll be the first to tell you that my stories may not be true, but they dang sure are the way I remember them. My childhood for example, we were poor Idaho farmers. We didn’t have money for a big screen TV or even a color TV we just had one 13” black and white TV with rabbit ears (ask your grandpa) and no remote that got 4 channels that’s all. Hardly ever anything good on, and if you watched it you did it as a family and watched what your dad wanted to watch. No computer, iPod or cell phone, as a matter of fact we were on a party line meaning that you shared you phone line with 3 or 4 other families and if they were on it talking, you couldn’t be. We didn’t have money or time for lessons or activities of any kind really, although in my youth I did take piano for a couple of years (Ms. Capp I Love You). We didn’t “hang out” with friends all the time although we did get a friend to come over from time to time. Time was spent mostly working on the 600 acre farm. It seems to me that work started most days on the farm at 5am except for Saturday which started earlier.  Dad would get Bryan and me up and we would go out to start the day. We would come back in for breakfast and sometimes cook it for the whole family. It was always big and you ate all you could kuz breakfast may be all you got till dinner that evening. Dad could be rough on Bryan and me from time to time too. Now some might say it was a bleak time or that we were held back, unfulfilled, and overworked. I could look at all I didn’t have or didn’t get and weep softly, but I will and do tell everyone it was the best childhood that anyone could have hoped for. You see once and a while the work would get done and there would be time for us to do whatever we wanted, well whatever we wanted, that you could do for free… on the farm… in the middle of nowhere… which is exactly what we did. I wish you could see the full, warm smile spread over my face as I tell the stories that and remember all the things we or I was able to dream up.

 I think the statute of limitations has gone by and there are no charges that can or need to be pressed.

 So I don’t mind telling you a few. Like the time I stayed home sick (I was faking) from school and set fire to the old log cabin outside our house. I thought it would be a good idea to fill the inside corner of the cabin with dry tumble weeds and set them on fire. They would burn up in one big whoosh, with flames licking and rolling around the roof and rafters and then just like that, nothing would be left but some red embers floating in the air. I repeated this for a while till my A.D.D. kicked in and then I was off to do whatever I wanted next. Apparently one of the red embers found a spot to smolder kuz several hours later dad and mom (who were working in a field far away) saw the gray column of smoke rising and they rushed back to the house to see what was burning, thinking it was the house of course. They saw it was the old log house and dad came in and got me by the nap of the neck. That is to say kicked my butt all the way out to the fire and handed me the garden hose to spray the fire. I will always remember the school bus driving by slowly with all the leaning out the windows pointing at the fire and me in my pajamas with one slipper on and a garden hose sprinkling the rubble of the old log house.

Another time when I was about 14, I faked sick, I decided to go hunting and I loaded up the 20 gauge shotgun and the 22 rifle and was about to head out to go rabbit hunting. I was sitting on mom and dad’s bed, as that’s the room where all the guns were kept. When I stood up to leave I accidently pulled the trigger on the 22 that I thought was empty and it went off. Sure I freaked out for a minute but when I calmed down I realized there was now a bullet hole over their bed in the ceiling. What to do? In a moment of shear brilliance I decided to put a Band-Aid over the hole.  Now for sure mom and dad would see this Band-Aid and of course they would naturally call me in for questioning first. But my plan was to coolly and calmly look at it and tell them how strange it is for them to have a Band-Aid on their ceiling. Knowing all along that they would never get a ladder to climb up and check it out only to find the bullet hole that would really get me in trouble. It worked flawlessly!!!!! I believe on the day we moved out that Band-Aid was still there. 

Or the time Bryan and I told Jolene (our younger sister) she could be in our club if she agreed to go through our initiation. It took place on this particular time in an old log cabin this is not the one I burned down. This one didn’t have a roof, just 4 log walls. We poured out a large circle of gas in the sandy dirt floor then sprinkled 22 shells into the gas ring and told her to stand in the middle, and then we lit it on fire. Sure it sounds bad now but then, to us it sounded like fun… well at least to Bryan and me. We didn’t make her stand there too long, she kept asking for permission to run out, (she was always so obedient) We told her to get out, after all we didn’t want to have to explain it to mom on the trip to the hospital. She ran out of the ring of death and the walled room and sometime after shells started going off. If you had asked us at the time”what were you thinking?” We would have said. “We’re thinking how surprising it was that it took so long for a shell soaked in gas to go off. However when Jolene found out that all we did in our cub was find more ways to torment our little sisters, strangely she didn’t want to be in our club anymore? Girls?? Go figure.

So why go on and on about this? My child that’s why! I overheard one of my children telling his grandma that it was a good thing that his mom and dad got a divorce because they were always so unhappy. How untrue could this possibly be!!!  Our life of almost 21 years together was by-and-large great, (until the end) I remember we spent a lot of time laughing. We had rough times but I always believed we could and would do better. This is how I remember it. We had photo albums full of happy faces so I can believe it is not just me tainting my memories with my rose colored glasses.
Now I could see how he may remember unhappiness as the kids didn’t know that my wife had asked for a divorce a long time before they knew about it, and we actually did divorce. So for the last three + years of our marriage she was trying to get rid of me and I was desperately trying to keep us together. However she had already found my replacement. So in the final days there was friction all the time.

My hope and prayer then is that as my kids look back they will hold onto the good and fun memories we did have, putting these first, and chose to remember with fondness the good rather than let the bad overcome and overwhelm, destroy and eventually forget altogether that which was good. Hence rewriting history from what it was into just what we remember.   
2012






 

Based on my thoughts after listing to a BYU Devotional;

David Paxman, Zoram and I,  2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwJSUgUmKcY