My "I Remember" letter to Mom for mothers day 1994

Mom,

                I know this is a little late but this is your Mother’s day present.  I’ll call this my “I Remember” letter.  It does have a string attached.  I would like you to write me a “I Remember” letter in return.

I remember when I was 4 or 5 Dad grounded me for a week to the house.  I was to stay inside for a whole week “no playing outside”.  After the second or third day you told me I could go out and play while Dad was gone to work as long as we didn’t tell.  At the time I thought you were rewarding me for being such a GOOD boy the days I had stayed in, but now looking back I think you probably just needed a break from my punishment.

I remember when we were bringing the pony up from the pasture.   He didn’t want to leave his girlfriend Taffy our other horse. So Dad had to lead him, with me riding on his back to the house.  When we got to the house with the hay field between us and the pasture where we kept the horses, dad gave me the reigns and the pony took off, returning to his friend.  I’ve never gone so fast.  He was running so fast when I opened my mouth to yell nothing came out because of all the air rushing in.  My heart was leaping out of my chest. I was scared for my life and thought it was surly my time to die.  I was trying not to tinkle in my pants, all in a panic holding on for dear life.  In a desperate attempt to save my life I looked to my parents for help.  There was my Mom jumping up and down like a cheerleader yelling and clapping your hands, “Yaa hoo! Ride ‘em cowboy…Yeah” and Dad was yelling, “Drop and roll! Drop and roll!”

I remember the time we went to Malad looking for shoes.  I had just realized what girls were and there was one hum dinger of a cutie running the till in the store.  While you were busy looking at shoes I was strutting my stuff by the men’s brief’s section.  Now she was quite a bit older than me but I didn’t back down.  I was laying it on (as best as a fourteen boy can).  I was just about ready to give her the look!...when you stood up with a pair of black converse sneakers and said, “Brent I found some CHEEP ones.”  I tried to look around as if to see who that strange woman might be talking to.  But alas, I was the only one there.  What was to be the start of something beautiful between her and me was now just a sneaker sale.

I remember when Bryan was chasing me through the house with a hobby knife.  Somewhere in the chase the protective cover fell off. When I stopped suddenly Bryan ran into me and stabbed me in the back. YES you just read that right my brother stabbed me. Once again the veil went thin or at least I thought it should have by the look on Bryan’s face. He ran and got you. After you had assessed the situation you determined that it might need stitches but that we were not going to tell the doctor (or anyone for that matter) that your sons had stabbed one another. After all, what would people think? So all the way into town we were lectured on why it was important to keep this just between us. You dropped us off at the library while you went to the drug store to get some butterfly bandages. We left the library and started to walk over to the drug store when the first person we saw from across the road and a block down the street, shouted, “Hey, Bryan, I heard you stabbed your brother.”

I remember at our wrestling matches how loudly you would cheer for us when we more on top of our opponent. I could hear your voice above everyone cheering me on, “Get him! Get him, Brent!” and when they were getting the better of me it was, “Don’t you hurt my boy!”

I remember the time you rolled the car on the way to one of my free style wrestling matches. We were rushing down the hill by Bloxham’s farm. The road was slushy with snow and ice. The car lost control going down the hill at the curve we slid sideways hit the snow bank and rolled over and over into the snow.  I grabbed hold firmly planted in my seat and terror shot through me followed by great joy and happiness, for in the vanity mirror on my visor I saw my two younger sisters Jolene and Denise and my younger brother, Darrin being tossed around like rag dolls in a big dryer. Now I am thankful no one was hurt to bad, but I’m most thankful for the look on their faces as the car rolled over and over. To an older brother that loved to torment his younger siblings, that was truly a beautiful sight. J

I remember when I wrecked your car.  I was out on a date and had chosen to take the scenic way home through the canyon where you could stop and enjoy the stars.  When we were leaving, it had started to snow quite heavily and the roads were slick.  I remember turning the wheel but the car went straight…right off a cliff.  This was the first time in my 17 years that I thought I was going to die. (Now for me to say that means something kuz I had been in numberless life threatening situations before)  The car came to a rest upside down in a creek about 30 ft. down.  The girl I was with had a broken nose, puncture wounds in her leg, and was scraped up pretty badly.  I had a broken collar bone and was already blushing from the guff I would have to take Monday at school for taking my girl up the canyon.  We walked out two miles to a house in the storm with no coats.  When I called you the phones weren’t working very well and I couldn’t hear you.  So I just told you that I had wrecked the car and to meet me at the emergency room.  I’m not sure how you got into town because that car was our main transportation and the storm was getting worse.  I remember pulling into the hospital parking lot.  There you were standing under the light at the emergency entrance, arms folded, tapping your toes with a grim look on your face.  I knew I was in bad trouble.  I got out of the car and headed toward you…maybe limping a little more than I had to.  The grim look melted away into a loving concern.  I learned two very important things that night: 1. Your Love for me was unconditional and 2.  Never take your date up a snow packed winding canyon road if you don’t have to…No, but really, number 2. The importance of Prayer!

I remember you always slipping me a buck or two my last year of school whether I was rich that day or poor.  i knew you didn't have any extra money. I asked you once why you did that when you knew I had enough of my own.  You said, “This time in your life will probably be the most remembered. I just want to help”.  That one or two dollars may have only seemed to have bought cinnamon rolls and a pop at Flags West truck stop but in my heart there is a debt of gratitude that I can never repay.   THANKS!!!

P.S.  I also remember on our farm, plucking chickens, gathering eggs, our big garden, selling corn from our field, riding my bike everywhere, Jolene hanging from the roof gutter, scraping pigs, milking cows, taking the big German shepherd dog to the pound, breaking Shetland ponies, you as my cub scouts leader, building the addition to the house and dad throwing the hammer to you and you closing your eyes and catching it on your head, moving to Idaho, snakes, snow drifts, clinkers, the Honda 70, running us all over like a taxi, crying at the end of “Old Yeller” and “Where the Red Fern Grows”.  Endless hugs, kisses on scrapes and bruises, moving sprinkler pipes, more crying over books & movies, you taking over when dad was gone on T.D.Y. your help with my boys at there births, endless little league, piano lessons, signing lessons, sports, taking me back when I was like5 years old to return a stolen gun and making me talk to the manager and apologize, staying up late to hear about my dates or other activities, horse drawn sleigh rides at Christmas to go caroling, Burned offerings and wonderful feasts for dinner, and me burning our haystacks and out buildings down.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY-MAY 1994

 

10? Things I want my kids to know (Part 2)

4.       It’s ok to cry; I have told you time and time again to suck it up and move forward, often accompanied by a “cuff-up-side the head”. Endlessly I chastised you for crying when you were younger, as I told you to just rub some dirt on it and get moving. I fear that in an effort to help you be aware that you are tougher than you know. I may have put a negative spin on all crying. I would like to rectify that now! It is ok to cry. We must not waste time feeling sorry for ourselves; however it is appropriate to morn when we have experienced loss. Not only is it appropriate but it is essential to being able to deal with and understand what has happened and eventually put it into perspective and move forward. It can be a great stress reliever. It is ok and even necessary to see hurt and pain for what it is and deal with it, not bottle it up or we will pay a much higher price when that bottled up emotion finally overflows and overwhelms us.

My least favorite time to cry is when I have transgressed. I know, and we have been promised that with transgression there will always be tears.

There are other times we might cry, when we are extremely happy, like good memories of my family or when we are moved and overwhelmed by the spirit. These times are my favorite times to cry. I love tears of happiness and joy or the way in which the spirit overwhelms me and brings me to tears. (*Side note; don’t mistake crying for always feeling the spirit as I sometimes have. Sometimes it’s just us crying?)

How do I know it’s ok to cry?

The toughest men and women I have come to know have cried. I remember as a boy when dad cut off the tips of his toes with the lawn mower. He limped into the house with a shredded bloody shoe and through pursed lips told Bryan and me to leave. We ran out the old wooden screen door then turned around and pressed our noses back to the screen to watch and see what would happen. He called for mom and as she began to look him over. He griped the chair in obvious agony and grunted through clinched teeth “I thought you were supposed to faint if the pain got this bad”.  Not one tear was shed then or when he broke his wrist and it was left just dangling crooked when the tractor backfired while he was crank starting it, or when the horse kicked him in the head giving him a concussion. The first time in my life I can remember my dad crying was at his mother’s furfural. If he had ever shed a tear before that I can’t say that I remember. But there in the sorrow of saying goodbye, his heart broken at this new loss, the toughest and bravest man I knew wept. What a tribute to his wonderful mother. Earl Crockett senior, at the loss of his young son Kelly. Gordon B Hinckley as he spoke of his beloved wife.

See also; John 11:35. 3 Nephi 17;21,22

 

5.       Stay close to the lord and pray always. All my happiness and joy I can trace back to my efforts to be obedience to the  gospel and the knowledge it has given me. Sadness always follows when I have strayed. Stay close and life will be better. I remember one night out coon hunting with Kyli. She was only about 10 at the time and loved to hunt the dogs. We had just recently got a new cell phone with a 2 year contract. She had asked if she could hold the phone and I let her. At the end of the night hunting we had followed those dogs all over that valley in the dark and had a very successful night. When we got the dogs loaded up in the truck and headed back for home around midnight. I asked her for the phone. I saw the panicked look come over her face as she felt her empty pockets.

 “I must have dropped it somewhere along the way.” she said in a panic. We had walked miles in tall sage brush, grass and weeds following our hounds. There was no way to find it in the dark with such a large area to cover and even if we went back we could not retrace our tracks kuz the dogs and coons didn’t know how to follow a trail or even go in a straight line. After thinking about it for a second, realizing we couldn’t possibly retrace our steps, afford a new phone or even get out of the contract I said “will you say a prayer and ask Heavenly Father to help us find the phone?” (You see, I happen to know and bare my personal testimony that Father Loves to listen to children.)So on cue she said a very simple prayer, her little head bowed, and little arms folded. As she offered that small childlike simple prayer the earth seemed to quiet a little, the restless dogs, still wound up from the hunt settled down and the cool midnight breeze was exactly right. The air seemed crisp; not cool just crisp all as if to indicate that Father was paying attention to this prayer.  It was the silver blue moon that offered our only light and it was enough to get you around. We pulled back into the spot we had unloaded hours earlier. I turned to her and asked if she thought we would find it. She shrugged her shoulders not knowing how we possibly could.

 I had felt like this would be one of those times that Father would reach out his hand and perform a wonder for this little girl’s prayer. I silently asked that He might grant her this prayer as a way of showing her His love. We got out of the truck with the plan that we would just try to follow the path as best we could of the earlier hunt. I looked out at the dark landscape and the seemingly impossible task but, I felt peace. As I stepped toward to the first fence crossing that we had crawled through, I saw a blinking green light in the tall grass. It was the phone!!! We snatched it up with lightened hearts and started home after having a prayer of thanks. I guess the point of this story is to reaffirm to you that He hears and answers you prayers. If it’s important to you it’s important to Him. I have similar stories for all of my children.

  2 Nephi 4:35 Yea, I know that God will give ^aliberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ^bask ^cnot amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the ^drock of my ^erighteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

 

6.       Always be thankful. There is always, always, always, something to be grateful for. Some people go through life looking for the silver lining on every cloud and others will look for the cloud on every silver lining. In life you will always find what you’re looking for. I cannot say that enough, you will always find what you’re looking for!! So look for the good. Search out those things that are praiseworthy, uplifting and desirable.

Happiness is what you find when you’re engaged in being thankful; it’s not a thing you get, or something you buy, or a place you go, or a time you wait for. If you can’t be grateful and happy for what is in your life right now, with where you are and what you have, chances are you won’t be happy when you get what you though you wanted or where you thought happiness is waiting.

In our life we will face grief, pain, suffering and disappointment that are real and are meant to be part of our earthly experience. These times are hard and will be uncomfortable and sometimes seem overwhelming. We can still make them better or worse depending on how we stand and face them. I’m not advocating pretending that all is well, as the house around you burns down, but “Attitude is everything” this is an eternal principle.

When life gets going too fast, stop and remember all that you have to be thankful for.
(Count your blessings) If you haven’t made this a habit then at first it will be hard. Ask for help from Father to see and recognize your blessings. They are there I promise.

When we are thankful, little things and stumbling blocks seem to get out of our way. There is less in our life that weighs us down, less to fear and less to cause worry. We are freer to see and enjoy all the things around us. Gratitude will help improve every aspect of your life; physical, financial, relational, mental, emotional and spiritual. Unfortunately the opposite is also true. A bad attitude is the destroyer of every good thing.

One thing that is yours and can never be taken away is your attitude. You must see, understand and own this. If you have a bad attitude then you and you alone chose that. You are always in control of that. It is the great lie that something, or what someone else did is in control of your attitude. Don’t get caught in the trap of this great lie.

If you have a min watch this:

 

10? Things I want my kids to know

Not really an accurate title but it's catchy.

Prologue: I have been working on this list for a long time now and have found it too overwhelming to put it all together. So I will start in bite size chunks. We will call it a living document, as I find myself adding to it every time I sit down to finish it. The list already has grown to over tweny things and as I try to finish each one more ideas keep coming. I will just keep posting more from time to time. So here we go... J

 

1.       I love you!!! How can I express more fully what those three little words mean to me? When I think of you, my heart swells. I feel a kind of power or electricity deep inside of me that warms my soul and gives purpose to my life. When you cry, I cry; both in happy tears and sad ones too. You are in my thoughts, and those thoughts carry me through the day. I pray for you every day. Every good and praiseworthy thing (if any) I have done since becoming a father, I have done for or because of you. I know you can’t understand how fully it encompasses me now, but wait, you will. I feel the pressure of being a father every day. When you were younger and so dependent on me it was greater, almost overwhelming sometimes causing a panic. But it has lessened as you have gotten older and are branching out on your own. Every misstep you have made I would blame myself, knowing I should have taught you more and better. I felt when you were younger a panic to make sure you were perfect, hence my strictness. I knew that when God had sent you to me that you were in fact perfect, and if you were returned to him any less than that, it would be my fault for not parenting you correctly. (A pretty crazy thought, right?) In spite of me, you have grown into such wonderful men and women, that I swell with pride at the very thought of you. I am well pleased with you and I love you!!!

2.       Your Father in heaven loves you and you are known to him. Each one of you has a personal relationship with your Father in heaven. You may have forgotten how strong it is, but He hasn’t. I know this because He, Himself has impressed it on my mind. At times in each of your life's it has been witnessed to my soul as I have watched you grow or given you Fathers blessings. He is willing to help you. He hears and answers your prayers. If you haven’t heard his answers, then listen and be still. He is talking to you. He longs to be included in your life on every level. Please talk to Him and include Him in everything you do.

3.       You are tough, and you can do hard things. Case Family rule #1 “Life is hard but I’m tough” there may be times in life when you get down and feel you can’t go on. Heck maybe you don’t want to go on. It’s those times we should reflect and recite our mantra “Life is hard but I’m tough” say it to yourself over and over till it takes root and grows in your soul. Not as some prideful thing but as a comforting knowledge that you can and will, with God’s help make it. This does kind of go with #11; life is not fair and #18; there is no cure for self-pity. Being tough or brave or happy is a choice. I would encourage you to choose these rather than their alternatives; but make no mistake it is always your choice.  Tough is an action word, you can’t be tough while you’re doing nothing. When we chose to be tough we must look for ways in which we can be proactive in times of discouragement. You are capable of being men and woman of action in tough times. You are awesome!
        Awesome: inspiring an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, or fear; causing or inducing awe

 

To be continued…

Quieting the voices that tell me I can’t

 

This week I ran, in training for the upcoming 5k race I’m entered in. Now when I say “run” I mean “old man bouncy jog” I drove out to the actual race path and begin my run. I just couldn’t get into the mood to run. I didn’t want to do it, but began my run anyway.

You see I fight with these little gremlins in my head. They are loud and constant and don’t want me to accomplish my goals, to work hard, to be uncomfortable or achieve. They whisper in my mind, just relax and be fat and lazy, that is all. “If you try you might fail. It’s safer not to try at all.” They always say.
They try everything known to man to get me to stop or not even try at all. They have a counter to every argument I have for continuing. The worst part is all their arguments are really, really good and make sense to me which is why I’m fat and out of shape. I listen to them and give in way too much. “It’s hot, I’m tired, I didn’t get good sleep last night, my foot hurts, my knees ache, my leg is cramping, sweet is dripping in my eyes, my man boobs bounce way too much, my back hurts and I’ll just have a doughnut or two to get more energy.”

Those voices in my head are nonstop and relentless!!!

All I need to do is just give myself permission to stop; because quitting is so easy; I just need to agree to be ok with it. Going on is so hard.

So how do I go on? How can I overcome these naysayers in my own head? Well I start by giving myself a pep talk, using lines from a motivational speech. “I am a Champion…!”

Voice still answers “You can’t”

 I respond; but ”I think can?”

“Why try? You will fail.”

 “You can” verses “You can’t” for the whole run the battle rages in my head.
 I slow my pace as the argument rages. Then beaten, I drop off to a walk. Defeated by myself and the voices I’ve chosen to listen to in my head. Now left only to the dutiful task of beating myself down for the rest of the day for quitting. The gremlins laugh with joy - completely fulfilled as I begin the self loathing.

I need help outside myself. I wanted advice I wanted someone to just tell me the magic trick I need to win the argument in my head. It must be someone really great because these are not your average run of the mill gremlins.

I thought about asking my little brother Darrin. He is an awesome runner and surely has developed a system for beating the voices in his head. (Everyone has these voices… right?) He is busy at work and I don’t really like to expose my failures. Maybe I’ll just Google it. That’s more anonymous. (In my head I high five myself for keeping it hidden) I can find just about anything on the internet. “Good plan” I tell myself as I drive away.

Time passes and I find myself ready for my next training run. I didn’t get around to finding “the fix” for my problem as I had hoped. (Procrastination is another problem of mine) I know if I don’t do something different, I will fail again. I know these voices too well. They can whip anyone or anything no matter how fixed in my determination I am, (Alma 47:6-18 this is how they work. They get me to weaken, or give in just a little, “come down just a little” all the while reassuring me that it will be ok but then poison me by degrees). I need to be on my “A” game if I even want to have a chance. I find my thoughts are in a panic.

 “THINK!!” I tell myself, I need a plan or I’ll fail again.

I start my run not knowing how I will fight this battle.

As I start I’m feeling good and keeping a good pace. I start to settle in and my joints start to loosen and move better. This is always the best part of the run for me, well aside from the part where I’m done and get to rest. After the first mile things start to hurt. The course was mostly downhill to start and at this point flattens out and requires a little more effort on my part.

 I can hear the voices now but they are far off and it’s easy to ignore them but the reality that they are coming for me starts a panic.

Why didn’t I prepare for this better? “Where is Darrin and Google now that I need help? WHAT WILL I DO?”
‘ Panic’ now at full tilt in my head. Somewhere in the fog of panic, voices and my own thoughts I am able pull a soft whisper from the mix. “Ask Father for Help.”

 I instantly feel foolish and ashamed, that as I was thinking earlier for the best person, the most knowledgeable and wise- I didn’t even think to ask Father.

Prayer is sometimes hard for me when I want “the fix.” I want a simple, easy, black and white answer given to me for my questions and it’s been my experience that He doesn't usually work that way with me. Most times He asks me to figure it out, (with his help of course.)

The voices tell me. “I got myself into this predicament of being out of shape. Shouldn’t I have to get myself out?

God is busy with everything else in the universe and you want Him to take time out of his busy day for this?

 It’s just running, stop acting like a child. You’re tough, you don’t need help.

What are you a wuss that needs to run home to Daddy every time the going gets a little rough? Suck it up and just do it you whimp!”

UGH the voices have a say in everything that goes on in my head it seems.

I begin the prayer in my heart as I run. “I need help with these voices in my head. They want me to give up and fail.”

 The impression comes “Why do you listen to them?” 

 “They know me and my weakness, they make ‘quitting’ make since.”

“Do you want to quit?”

“No”

“Then don’t. Just keep going. One step at a time is all we need for now.”

“But I'm tired, my feet hurt, it’s hot, the end is so far…” echoing the taunts I have heard so many times in my thoughts as if the words or beliefs are my own.

“Do you want to quit?”

“No?”

“Then don’t, just keep going… one step at a time. That is all we need for now. You will get tired, it will hurt, it is hot, but the end is not that far now that you’ve started, you’ll see. To better yourself isn’t meant to be easy. It will be hard, but I will be with you. Keep going ‘we’ can do this. ”

“Are you sure?”

“Can you trust me?”

“Yes.”

I feel some relief from the battle that was ragging in my head and that somehow lightens my load. It is easier to run. Not because I’m lighter or younger or the road is shorter, “it is what it is” but now I am not alone with the voices.  

As I pray I notice the voices are getting farther away and harder to hear. If I want to hear them now, I really have to listen. But I chose not to try to hear them. My run is better just knowing the voices have moved further away for now and are kept at a distance. They are still there but out of reach for now like shadows that must hide from the light. From time to time they sneak back in my head, bombarding me with doubt but I immediately begin praying for help and they leave. It is as if they have been trained to go.

When the course turned for home it started the long uphill pull to the finish line.

“This is getting harder and all my energy is used up” I say starting to panic.

“This is hard, but we can make it.”

Finally the finish is in sight, I am spent, all used up, so tired but I’m smiling as I finish.
The run was good and I met my goal. I have felt my Father’s love today. As I reflect I am filled with admiration for my Heavenly Father and that he always has time for me and my silliness. It is literally astounding to me that he loves me and cares for me. He has told me time and time again “If it’s important to you it’s important to me.”

I have done nothing to deserve his attention and yet, He is always there when I ask.

Life is Good!

 

Post script: the gremlins in my head are Satan and his legions. They want us to fail every time and are giddy when they succeed.  Their happiness is always fleeting and must be replaced continually. Their happiness only comes from our sadness and failure. Any time we have negative ‘self-talk’ (this is different from a constructive self evaluation) that tears us down, it is not of God and therefore by default we know it comes from, ‘Satan’. If we want to get rid of the thoughts Satan plants in our minds we just need to introduce the spirit - for where there is light there cannot be darkness.

Prayer

Just some personal notes,

In my Sunday school class a long time ago the topic of discussion moved to prayers and answers to those prayers. A man about 38 raise his hand and said something like “you can talk all you want about answers to prayers but I have been praying my whole life and have never received an answer.” this troubled me deeply.

Prayer is one of the greatest blessings we have while we are here on earth. Through prayer we can communicate with our Heavenly Father and seek his guidance daily. We are all children of God. He loves us and knows our needs, and He wants us to communicate with Him through prayer. We should pray to Him and no one else. The Lord Jesus Christ commanded, 3 Nephi 18:19 "Ye must always pray unto the Father in my name". As we make a habit of approaching God in prayer, we will come to know Him and draw ever nearer to Him. Our desires will become more like His. So that should be our goal, to have our desires in line with his. We then will be able to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that He is ready to give if we will but ask in faith.

Always give thanks to Heavenly Father. We should "live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon [us]" (Alma 34:38). As we take time to remember our blessings, we will recognize how much our Heavenly Father has done for us. We should express our thanks to Him.

Receiving Answers to Prayer

The Savior taught, (Matthew 7:7–8)"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened". To the Nephites in (3 Nephi 18:20) He said, "Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you".
Heavenly Father hears our prayers. He may not always answer as we expect, but He does answer—in His own time and according to His will. Because He knows what is best for us,

Answers to prayer come in many ways.

One answer to a faithful prayer is illustrated through the experience of Oliver Cowdery, an early elder of the Church, when he attempted to help with translating the Book of Mormon. He was told to "study it out in [his] mind" and, if his translation were right, it would be confirmed with a burning in his bosom; if wrong, a "stupor of thought" would come (D&C 9:8-9). When prayers are answered, one experiences peace of mind and assurance that God has heard, even though the answer may be no. The Savior's submissiveness as he prayed in Gethsemane shows us a good example when he said: "Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:42).

Answers often come in different ways to all of us like; through the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost; this may come as feelings, impressions or sudden inspirations. They may come in the circumstances of our lives or through the kind acts of those around us. Often God gives us the power to help answer our own prayers. We can ask the lord for help in understanding how he talks to us, so that we can become more acquainted with it.
 I did this once when following the challenge of my steak president. I prayed for help in understanding how he talks to me. I found that after I would pray for something and then that situation would play out that I would get a “run down” form the spirit telling “do you remember when you had that feeling not to go, but you did and it didn’t turnout good for you? Well that was me talking to you, helping you. I continued to pray for his help in knowing how he spoke to me and through many of these experiences I started to see how the spirit would talk to me and help me if I would listen, and better yet how to tell the promptings from my own thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes the answer will be yes; sometimes, no; sometimes, wait; sometimes, not yet; and sometimes he will let us work it out ourselves. We need to listen and remember how the Holy Ghost talks to us so we can more readily heed its promptings. Heavenly Father knows what is best for us, and he will give us “good things” or the things that will help us the most, because he loves us. He will answer our sincere prayers. And we can partake of those answers if we are prepared and listening.
As we continue to draw near to our Heavenly Father through prayer, we will recognize more readily His merciful and wise answers to our pleadings. We will find that He is our "refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1). Sometimes we do not realize that Heavenly Father has answered our prayers, but later we see that he has given us an answer.

So how can we know how and what to pray for?

Alma 7:23 "I would that ye should be humble,…asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive"

Seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost so we will know what to include in our prayers. The Holy Ghost can teach us to pray and guide us in the things we say (He can help us pray "according to the will of God"

3^rd Nephi 19:24 And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus prayed unto the Father, he came unto his disciples, and behold, they did still continue, without ceasing, to pray unto him; and they did not multiply many words, for it was given unto them what they should pray, and they were filled with desire. So we can see from this scripture that if we pray with the help of the Holy Ghost we will know what to pray for and how to pray.

D&C 46:30 He that asketh in the Spirit asketh according to the will of God; wherefore it is done even as he asketh.

  Language of prayer

o    President Spencer W. Kimball commented, "In all our prayers, it is well to use the pronouns thee, thou, thy, and thine instead of you, your, and yours inasmuch as they have come to indicate respect" (p. 201). Unnecessary repetition of God's name is avoided,

    The Church uses set prayers only in temple ordinances, in the two Sacrament prayers, and in the baptismal prayer. "By revelation the Lord has given the Church…set prayers for use in our sacred ordinances…. [These] relate to the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ, his crucifixion, and his burial and resurrection. All of the ordinances in which we use these prayers place us under solemn covenants of obedience to God" (Kimball et al., p. 56). In all other instances, Latter-day Saints express themselves in their own words.

o    

·         Preparation for prayer

o    A tranquil time and place allow quiet contemplation on the specific requests one may make. Joseph Smith went to a nearby grove to pray for an answer to his question, and received his glorious vision. Job was told, "Prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him" (Job 11:13). Alma ₂ listed the qualities of a heart prepared for prayer: "I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering…being diligent in keeping the commandments of God…. And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works" (Alma 7:23-24). Moroni ₂ stressed the need for "a sincere heart,…real intent,…[and] faith in Christ" (Moro. 10:4).

Lessons in receiving answers

or,

A father’s lesson on talking to Father

I would like to share a personal story with you. When we were looking to buy a house we only had a limited amount of time to get into a house and needed the Lord’s help. We had prayed about one particular house and had asked the Lord if he would help us get it.  I felt assured that He would help us.

One day, as the deadline closed in on the time frame we needed, our mortgage broker called to say it would be impossible to get a loan on that house. I was crushed.  I believed that the Lord had told us He would help us get this house. Later that day I stopped by my mom and dad’s house and Dad was home alone. I told him the story and got a little emotional as I told him that I had felt that Father had told me He would help us get the house.  And now I had found out it would not be possible. He reassured me that if that was the case that there was a good reason for the way things were turning out. I said, through tears, “I know you’re right, but Father told me He would help us get that house if we wanted it and I want it! (Foot stomp) I just don’t understand and I’m sick of not understanding.”

Dad slowly stood up and asked, “Do you really want to know the answer? I know there is an answer, if you will ask, then listen.

” Yes,” I said, “ I want to know, no! I need to know.”

 I felt as though some part of my testimony was riding on it. “Then let’s go,” he said.

I followed him into his bedroom where he closed the door and said, “ This is what I think we should do.  I’ll pray, then you pray, then we’ll repeat this process for as long as it takes for you to feel that you have received the answer you need.”

He started a very heartfelt prayer on my behalf then closed it.  Without opening my tear filled eyes, I began my prayer and told Him of my feelings and how I was so hurt by the news that we couldn’t get a loan on the house I had wanted, after He had said He would help us get it. Then I closed my prayer. Again Dad began, this time slower, and as he prayed I felt thoughts and impressions filling my head. It was my turn again. My prayer was more thankful this time and my words were more thought out, as the thoughts and impressions continued to fill my mind and teach me. We each prayed three times and after my last prayer, which was a prayer of complete thanksgiving, Dad asked if we needed to go on. I said, “no.  I have my answer.”

Dad asked me to tell him what the answer was. I told him that first I had felt that the Lord rebuked me, the impression was, “I am God and by my power all things are and were created. I have all power and I have told you that if you wanted that house I would get it for you. But you let a man, a mortgage broker tell you there is no way and you choose to believe him over me.”

Second, “If this house is what you really want, it may not fall within the time frame you need it to, and  there are problems with that house that if you buy it now it will not be easy to sell later after the problems are made known.”

Then lastly was this impression,” Now, I said I would get you that house and if you still want it, it’s yours.”

As I look at this story I see some problems, first in the way I went about asking for help. Perhaps the better way to start out would have been to ask Father to lead me to a house that would be good for my little family. Then once I had found one I could have asked if it was right. Instead I jumped right to the “will you help me get it” prayer. Perhaps I needed to be dragged down this path to save my family from a bad investment. If we ask for something and are worthy to receive those blessings He may be bound to give us what we ask for instead of what is best for us or in other words like asking for brass, when He wants to give us gold.